very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
