i think my tv is drunk
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
