So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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