so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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