DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
