on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
COCAINE IS GR8
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
