just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
