i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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