Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
