He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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