is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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