When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize