he shaved USA in his pubs
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm just crazy horny about you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
