I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
