It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
