if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
