I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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