Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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