that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
