oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
