In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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