why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
