You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I love you. Go after that dick
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
