if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
