ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
