you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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