What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
