how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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