Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
