you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
