it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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