I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
