I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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