So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
babies were throwing up all over the place
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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