i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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