You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
