Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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