I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
