glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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