very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
