i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
