Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When did angry sex become our thing?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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