do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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