There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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