:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
