You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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