Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
