is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
