I'm really into asian looking animals
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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