We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
